I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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