And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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