hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
