well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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