awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
