dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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