no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
