ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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