I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
