I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
