Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My life is pants optional.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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