Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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