You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
