he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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