yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
