He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
