piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
