We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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