I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
