I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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