So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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