Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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