You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
