Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
