Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
