Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
