She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
