doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
