You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize