no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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