I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
