Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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