all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
