thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And then my night got REAL pukey
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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