i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize