I wish I could punch you in the face.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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