About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
