I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
