can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
