I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
