i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
