Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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