Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just pee around me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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