I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
