Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
