apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
