Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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