Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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