all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize