if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
