After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
