Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
