As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
