Your dad touched me again.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
