normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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