I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
