i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
