I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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