these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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