My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
