She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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