After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
