He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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