a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
