It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
