A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
did you just send me my own nude
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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