Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
