It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
