Banned from zoo.
Again?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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