haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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