Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
