I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
