last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
