Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
