Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
