Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize