Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
